I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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