he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
