Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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