CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
