When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
