That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Less talking, more tequila
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
