alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
