i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
