Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
