I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
