It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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