where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
