i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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