if you like me you must not know who I am
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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