dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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