OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
