butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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