I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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