I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
