'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
