went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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