Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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