I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
