Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
