Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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