im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
