i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
