oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
