He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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