so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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