i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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