Sponge bath it is.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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