i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
