My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The power of my boobs compel you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
