Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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