her vagine was all disorganized.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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