FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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