You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
