i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
