i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
