A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
