Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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