he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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