Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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