Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
