right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
