I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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