Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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