Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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