Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
