btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
