Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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