you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
